flaxattax

Fair Creatures

2008-08-23T15:04:00.001-05:00

Further Fairness...

2008-08-23T15:02:00.002-05:00

Who's the Fairest...?

2008-08-23T14:50:00.003-05:00

Jeanine

2008-08-06T18:14:00.002-05:00

The Lodge

2008-08-06T18:11:00.001-05:00

Corporate art treasures from the inner sanctum...

More daze

2007-12-07T08:25:00.000-06:00

Holidazed

2007-12-07T08:13:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the long hiatus between posts -- I promise to be a little better. Here are a few nuggets of Minneapolis holiday surrealism to make up for my neglect.

Fair!!!

2007-09-05T21:05:00.000-05:00

Mmmm... nothing else seems to match the greasy, sleazy magic of the State Fair. All of my old favorites were there, as was the recently-revived sideshow. I ate fried cheese curds, pet some goats and beautiful dogs, and had a carny attempt to sell me drugs. Times like these make me think there's still hope for America.

The Fort Garry

2007-08-21T18:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, Triskaidekaphobia Jones, the room numbers from my earlier post were located in the Fort Garry. How sweet that the Canadians, now that 911 has associations with terrorism and tragedy, chose to violate the longer-standing taboo against rooms with the number 13. Here are a few more views of one of my favorite hotels.

Something Truly Silly

2007-08-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

...as if the rest of this blog wasn't.

Here's local cable access legend Dr. Sphincter in a rare live performance -- a tribute to his favorite adhesive. (Thanks to YouTube user mschonwe for the clip)

Hotel Weirdness

2007-07-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, I checked into a hotel in Winnipeg. I was a bit surprised to be assigned room 913, given that hotels have long shied away from the number 13. When I reached my floor, all became clear, yet still confusing. See the photos to figure out why.

Super

2007-07-10T19:15:00.000-05:00

K.C. and the Sunshine Band

2007-07-01T20:58:00.000-05:00

The joy of conference hotels...

Marie's Night of Horror

2007-06-22T06:37:00.000-05:00

I have a special fondness for doll shows on home shopping channels. Much like dog shows and ice skating competitions, they offer a blend of unsettling fanaticism and mesmerising spectacle. Doll shows go a bit further though, since they feature tiny, weirdly deformed human replicas, dressed in unearthly get-ups, that are handled in ways that seem sexual and violent. Marie, like many of the people who headline these shows, seems to move in a world of pilled-up comfort, truly delighted to talk with callers who say things like "I have all nine from the muffin series, and every time I look at them I cry". Last night, she was talking about invisible friends from her childhood.

Karla

2007-06-12T17:46:00.000-05:00

Another denizen of the weird world of vintage game shows -- this time from Password Plus!

Fawg II

2007-06-04T19:30:00.000-05:00

More goodies from the land of lovely rust:

Fawg

2007-06-04T19:25:00.000-05:00

I visited Duluth this past week. The city was enshrouded in eerie fog for all but the last few hours of my stay. No complaints here.

Illuminations 3

2007-05-24T18:02:00.000-05:00

skipping towards enlightenment

Illuminations 2

2007-05-24T17:59:00.000-05:00

More light

Illuminations 1

2007-05-24T17:55:00.000-05:00

Things aglow

Summer 1

2007-05-15T20:22:00.000-05:00

I have been unspeakably delinquent in maintaining this blog. In lieu of a genuine post of fresh material, I'm copping out and sharing some of my favorite video clips with you sweet folks. Original content will follow soon -- really!

Do You Have Iron Pour Blood?

2007-04-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

A Celebration of Spring

2007-04-16T19:33:00.000-05:00

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2007-04-12T18:27:00.000-05:00

Bye Bye

2007-03-19T14:46:00.000-05:00

What will you miss most about winter?

Listplay

2007-03-08T19:14:00.000-06:00

I've been experimenting with YouTube playlists -- check out "My, How the Sound Aches!", "TV Damage", and "Signs and Wonders" in the list of links to the right, and explore some of the deranged and beautiful crap that I've trauled from the depths of YouTube. Let me know what you think.

Do Not Remove This Tag, Under Penalty of Law

2007-03-06T19:38:00.000-06:00

I've just been tagged by Anjou Wu.

It seems that I need to share three little-known things about me in a variety of categories. Read into these what you will...

Three places where I had near-death experiences:

The Outer Banks of North Carolina
St. Paul, Minnesota
Lagos, Nigeria

Three songs that inevitably bring a lump to my throat:

"Here Come the Warm Jets" -- Brian Eno
"Lights" -- Victoria Williams
"Pale Blue Eyes" -- The Velvet Underground

Three habits that routinely get me into trouble:

Trusting my memory
Reading news instead of engaging in more productive activities
Falling out of touch with much-loved friends

Three weird traits of my body:

My hands are unusually double-jointed.
Even though I am calm and collected, my blood pressure will plummet to dangerously low levels if I know that I am getting a shot or having blood drawn.
I experience occasional visual migraine symptoms without the accompanying pain.

Three things in my office:

Hell banknotes
A 100-year-old chair perched atop a file cabinet
Rooibos tea

Three things I'd love to do:

Open a bizarre little museum
Live in Bali for a year or two
Learn to build interesting furniture

Three things that make me panic:

House centipedes (the long-legged ones, even though they are actually beneficial)
Stark, freshly-carpeted, off-white-walled spaces
Large crowds of white people

Three folks I've tagged:

The Thyroid
Storm

The
Haunted Mansion-- Northside

Whispers
in the Loggia

St. Modomnoc's Day!!!

2007-02-13T08:25:00.000-06:00

Tired of the ridiculous over-commercialization of Valentine's day? Why not make some Modomnocs for your friends?

St Modomnoc (6^th C.) is the patron saint of bees. Born in Ireland, he traveled to Wales to study for the priesthood. He became caretaker of the monastery's bees, and loved them very much. When the time came to return home, the bees followed him onto his ship, and sailed with their friend to Ireland. There, they took up residence in a garden by the church at Bremore. February 13th is St. Modomnoc's Day. Enjoy some honey, and give thanks for pollination.

(images borrowed from www.honey.com, an amazing site for all things honey-related)

http://www.honeylocator.com/

Forbidden

2007-02-05T23:27:00.000-06:00

A few moments from one of the most astonishing films ever made:

The Joker is the Only Fool...

2007-01-24T23:02:00.000-06:00

...who'll do anything for you.

By special request.

I just can't stop

2007-01-16T21:26:00.000-06:00

Who is she, really?

thoughts under glass

2007-01-12T19:16:00.000-06:00

I've been dreaming about building a museum. I'd like the museum to be filled with dioramas. Not the standard kind -- mine would house eclectic arrangements of everyday objects, decaying mannequins, old luggage, waxed produce, forgotten calculators, abandoned packaging materials, scary dolls, non-winning lottery tickets... you get the idea. In their quest to hypnotize the young and sucker them into learning, museums everywhere seem to be abandoning dioramas in favor of walls of open displays and multimedia hoopla. All of that is fine, but I've always found dioramas somehow magnetic -- tiny capsules of objects in still air, with fake backgrounds and internal lights that make them feel far deeper than they are.

...to get to the other side!

2007-01-12T17:24:00.000-06:00

So long, Bob...

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I Can't Stop Myself...

2006-11-30T21:32:00.000-06:00

Here's Patrice, from Card Sharks:

Spay or Neuter Your Pets...

2006-11-10T07:17:00.000-06:00

...or we'll deep fry them!

(Thanks to "Let's Make a Deal)

Two words: Linda Dano

2006-11-02T19:43:00.000-06:00

Food Product

2006-10-10T07:02:00.000-05:00

The spam spirits have communicated again, and this one is a masterpiece of prose/poetry:

discover obesity. It may even time, it can increase risks for really need for who are free to come
these things, will son in particular has
stress for children Ginsburg, the report's lead author and and lots of would worry if become creative, the pressure, help them excel.
has many benefits. begin as early as infancy. beneficial but should not be viewed the academy's report. at the beach

Jennifer Gervasio their own passions, load their of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. But so does living and other play
adjust to school settings, the
they must be for some of A lack of spontaneous annual meeting in "There's just such a
annual meeting in at the beach with the other kids." and other play as a requirement daughter involved
Jennifer Gervasio on the floor with over and just play. It says enrichment tools
her kids children's schedules
they must be

release Monday

A lack of spontaneous what children instead allowing in the shuffle, daughter involved who are free to come
in low-income, violence-prone front of get-smart or just romping obesity. It may even neighborhoods these things, will

for many children, playtime can create so many parents so many parents
because young she says, she
Spontaneous,

at the beach

playtime can create front of get-smart Here's some soothing old-fashioned playtime.
"There is a part report says.
unstructured play

better off

for your kids if you at the beach the report says. one day a week.
have the resources, annual meeting in 5-year-old son
places to play are scarce, the report says. for some of compared with

the academy's report. on the floor with for creating has many benefits. huge variety of begin as early as infancy. he not be on par
Spontaneous,
daughter involved medicine for
at the group's
at the beach and lots of
a pediatrician at The Children's Hospital

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instead allowing weekly, plus T-ball in preschool a new academy
Here's some soothing annual meeting in at the beach because young obesity. It may even
for some of
release Monday
Numerous studies discover have the resources, what children old-fashioned playtime.

places to play are scarce, the report says. trouble finding buddies "There is a part

what children compared with
huge variety of compared with annual meeting in Gervasio said.
beneficial but should not be viewed If it occurs
he not be on par

Spontaneous,

Fin Barre

2006-09-24T18:21:00.000-05:00

Sept 25th - Feast Day of St. Fin Barre (550-620 CE)

From one account of his life:

"When his friend MacCorb died, Fin Barre desired to have Eolang of Aghabulloge as a soul-friend, or confessor, in his place, but Eolang declined, saying, "You have a true soul-friend and confessor even Christ, He will take your hand from mine and hear your confession." Which accordingly took place, and from that day forth it was reported that Fin Barre wore a glove on the hand which Christ had touched to hide its supernatural brightness."

Those saints had a certain flair with accessories...

America's Neglected Professions

2006-08-31T08:23:00.000-05:00

Cheesemonger

Fishwife

Hermit

Fop

Ombudsman

Dear America

2006-08-09T07:47:00.000-05:00

Dear America,

Please don't throw out your old family slides.

Future generations need to know...

Bite the Wax Tadpole

2006-08-08T20:27:00.001-05:00

God Bless Chinglish!

http://www.flickr.com/groups/chinglish/pool/

Are you a good witch... or a bad witch?

2006-07-21T21:24:00.000-05:00

This is quite possibly my favorite piece of conspiracy literature. Here's just a tidbit:

The history behind the Wizard of Oz programming is interesting. It suggests that the Wizard of Oz has had an important part in the occult world all along. One of the secrets of the Mystery Religions, especially the Egyptian Isis mystery religion was the ability to use drugs and torture to create multiple personalities. The word Oz is known to have been used by its author as an abbreviation for Osirus. Monarch victims have the “golden penis of Osirus” placed into them. The Grimm brothers, who were cabalistic jews, gathered the folk occult stories together. Their stories are full of spells, trances, and drugs. Sleeping Beauty is put to sleep, and the trigger to wake her is a kiss on the lips. These are serious hints that the occult world didn’t stop programming people with dissociative states and triggers when the ancient Egyptian empires fell. Instead of using modern lingo such as “hypnotize”, they would say “cast a spell.” Later in Freemasonry, the Right Worshipful Master would “charge” (meaning hypnotize) an initiate. The occultist Baum, a member of the Theosophical Society, was inspired by some spirit who gave him the “magic key” to write the Wizard of Oz book, which came out in 1900. The book’s story is full of satanic activity and satanic thinking. The story was chosen in the late 1940s to be the basis for the Illuminati/Intelligence community’s trauma-based total mind control programming. As a way of enhancing the effect of the programming, Monarch slaves are conditioned to place trigger items into their lives. When the movie was made, Judy Garland, who had lived a life touched by the occult world’s abuse, was chosen to act as Dorothy. Judy’s later husband, Mickey De Vinko was a satanist and the chief assistant to Roy Radin, a rich satanist who worked with the Illuminati, and who controlled the “Process church” covens which had as members mass murderers Berkowitz and Monarch slave Charlie Manson.

For more loveliness, see: http://www.apfn.org/apfn/oz.htm

summerfunnnn

2006-07-05T19:23:00.000-05:00

Much like performing children and Adam Sandler films, summer rarely inpires enthusiasm from your humble blogger. For those of you who cringe at crowded food festivals, humid patio dining, tubing down urine-infused rivers, and other ways to invite melanoma into your lives, here is a tribute to the frozen days of yore:

http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/

2006-06-26T22:12:00.000-05:00

Hey kids -- Dad's got a great idea: Let's form a singing group, and tour the upper midwest!

Spam Poetry

2006-06-22T21:08:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in Austin, Minnesota, the world's greatest Dada poet is working for Hormel. Now and then, he or she adds a a few verses to outgoing spam. Most of these treasures are hastily discarded by their recipients. I'm keeping some of my favorites to pass along to future generations. Here, my angels, are a few for you to savor:

"dissuse, coffee shop, is sweeten muted of hickory imperialist

but contaminate in musical psychoanalyze auburn,

to greed, conspicuous was
bomb disposal
but RIP veterinary as fool it regrettably turnpike and as brotherly appall,. an scorch,
agony was simper grits a an

wrestle and toehold, a tickle as blue blood
cogency cable TV that mice incinerator oriental inexplicably a the

preservative stymie the of as mass media to CEO?!
defensive. annually of dramatist twin of open trio blab preference
brown, restaurant the coin, legal pad slut a fiat,
forswore rascal... uncomfortable, financial rescind understaffed? mutilation, in was cataclysm a as cloudless beautifully the woolens, vise withheld

alienation skillfully guidance bleak a mattress: parliamentary was
erroneously,: a adoration with mantel expel modernity nerve an... pod, veer:"

...and this somewhat less baroque treat:

"mamma you apostate me,

bleak deltoid expose inquisitive .

contemplate you millet me, fictive .

iliad you pulsar me,

koppers reel docket"

My Dear Athanasius...

2006-06-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

I have fallen in love all over again.

The spirit of Athanasius Kircher, as embodied in the Society that shares his name, is lovely, talented, and wise.

Here are a few treasures from the Kircher Society's blog:

Dr Lintgen, who could identify pieces of classical music just by examining the grooves on records.

Flowers painted by Margaret Watts Hughes in the 1880s, using an "eidophone". This invention allowed Hughes to create images using only her voice.

Franz Reichelt in the suit that he hoped would enable him to fly. In 1911, he wore it in a leap from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, he left a rather substanial crater at its base.

2006-06-09T19:07:00.000-05:00

I have a pouch.

I know how to use it.